MUCKRAKER: Desperate for breakthrough in re-engagement with EU…State media and government spin-docs are racing

The past few days have been busy for state media mandarins, who have an enviable national duty to defend the country against Western lies. They do it by concocting their own.

The country owner headed to Europe, resplendent in his standard oversized pants and sinister coat.

Clearly, the mandarins were in top form, letting the world know what awaited the nation from this visit. Muckraker lost count of gushing headlines. There was a title Zim finds a diamond in Europefollowed by New success of re-engagement in Brusselsand Progress on EU standardizationand The president will make up with the EU and The president engages, reengages with Europe and European investors are eyeing Zim and EU happy to engage Zim.

We had no doubts about the success of the trip. We can be sure there were massive celebrations among European leaders upon his arrival. The leaders there set aside trivial matters like the Ukrainian-Russian crisis to meet with our dear owner. And people dare to tell us that the country has no leadership?

Punishments
The nation was left confused this week, after the Europeans continued their sanctions against Zimbabwe just days after they held massive celebrations in honor of our leader.

According to the European Union, the sanctions must continue because “the situation in terms of respect for human rights has not improved in Zimbabwe”.

As if to confuse us even further, the EU went on to say, “Intimidation of the political opposition and other government critics has continued to restrict democratic and civic space, which threatens to shrink further, to through data protection law and legislative processes such as the Private Voluntary Organizations Amendment Bill and the planned so-called Patriotic Law.

However, according to the Herald, the perennial winner of the annual Global Truth Awards, that was good news. “Zim is making progress on the re-engagement crusade,” the newspaper said, citing that the removal of three people from the sanctions list was a testament to the president’s world-class diplomacy.

It is clear that the EU must decide. Didn’t we hear that they rolled out the red carpet and held galas in honor of Zimbabwe?

chris excited
No one was as enthusiastic about going to Europe as Chris Mutsvangwa, the designated Zanu PF dung beetle.

He could barely hide his excitement at the prospect of seeing his master in Europe, telling ZBC: “It is a pleasure to savor that EDM has been received with full hands of pomp and circumstance by its hosts. Europeans.”

Mutsvangwa continued: “Now he comes from Brussels, the capital of the European Union, it is the seat of the largest trading bloc in the world. This trip was the most dramatic indicator that the EDM President’s program of engagement and re-engagement is gaining momentum to a victorious crescendo.

He hadn’t finished. He added: “The trip to Brussels sounds like the end of the sanctions and jecharist will say (sabotage) of the MDC as it transitions to the CCC.

Never has a black man been so excited to meet white people since Moise Tshombe sold Katanga to the Belgians.

sunday south
According to Sunday Mail, the nation must be aware that Mnangagwa is “the game changer”. That he will, one way or another, change a game he has been playing for over 40 years is neither here nor there.

An article indicates that the leader is suddenly aware that his government needs more action than words.

“It all started about a week ago when ministers and heads of public institutions signed performance-based contracts that were hailed as confirmation that the president now wants results to speak louder than words.” , the newspaper said.

It’s new for everyone. When exactly did this realization occur? Since when did action become more important than hollow rhetoric? What are we supposed to do with national mantras like “Open for Business” and “mega deals”?

The economy of Mthuli
The news that the economy is booming and recovering was announced to the masses at a youth rally in honor of Robert Mugabe, a man widely known for creating jobs for young people.

It reminded someone of that stupid raven of Moses in farm animalwhose job it was to keep animals from having silly thoughts to claim their rights.

He did this by always promising them that a paradise was just around the corner, if they could be patient and keep working hard.

“Up there, comrades,” the crow would say to the other animals, pointing its oversized beak skyward, “up there, just beyond that dark cloud that you can see – that’s there, Sugarcandy Mountain , what a happy country where we, poor beasts, will rest forever from our labors.

Obviously, the likes of Mthuli Ncube and their sugary economic forecasts have plucked some feathers from Moses the Raven. Haven’t we been promised paradise after the austerity measures?

Mugabe sympathizer
It was reported this week that there was to be an auction of property at the Mugabe farm, or, more specifically, at one of the Mugabe farms.

An article in this newspaper reported that at the Gushungos’ Norton farm there was to be an auction of properties such as cars, trucks, pumps, combines, plows and other loot. This, of course, makes some unhappy.

the Independent quoted a ‘sympathiser’ who said it reflects badly on the government: ‘The treatment of the former president (Robert Mugabe) continues to taste sour in his mouth. It is absolutely essential that former leaders and current leaders are treated with respect and decorum so that they leave office gracefully without fear of mistreatment.

Yes, according to this Mugabe sympathizer, the one who was owed by Mugabe should have let it go. After all, here is a man who was known to never have paid debts in his life. Don’t expect it to start now.